I look upon the imperfections of this house

And I wonder, how can this be, yet who am I to ask?

Has it not been designed with care to foresee this?

Has its foundation not been built on the rock

As I thought and was told was true?

Has it not been built to the standards of its designer?

Has it not been built with the materials required?

For years I have lived under its roof

Coming and going in trust as I might

With differing intentions and will and passion

Seeking shelter and protection from outside

Finding comfort and safety inside

Finding an imperfect family to which I truly belong

How can this be that I haven’t noticed?

How can this be that even now others instead have?

And now call my attention to the cracks that show!

Have I never seen or ever looked or noticed, and

Have I been unaware, uncaring, lacking connection?

Have I looked beyond, or through with colored lens?

For years I have trusted its strength, its’ safety

Through storms I trusted it would not sway or break

Through unstable ground it would not loosen

Through damage and fire it would not be destroyed

It has been my shelter, my respite, my shield

My place alone and together, joined in family

Strangers point at its flaws and I notice now

The perfect structure often hermitage I called my own

Now cracked and broken, needing repair

In shock I see but do not want to look further

Hopefully surface damaged only, meaningless in whole

But how deep is it, what kind of damage is there?

I wonder and muse and yet in fear refuse to ponder it

Is it me and my fault somehow for not noticing?

Is it what had to happen or was planned to happen?

Is there reason, cause, or blame to lay?

Was I responsible for this un-noticed imperfection?

Can I cope with disillusionment, the surprise of this?

The hurt of expectations dashed, of security lost

Is there an end, a fix, a repair, a remedy to return it?

Will there ever be wholeness as it were in this house?

Wholeness again after repairing the cracks

Will its strength return; its security, stability ?

Will repair make it weaker and less resistant to the rain?

Or strengthen all the more that which was weakened

To a new stability, to a new durability learned

I long for my house, my home to be whole again

To return as the shining city on the hill

Can this ever be...will it ever be...how long till then?

Can I ever look at it and feel the same as I had

Before learning of its imperfection and weakness?

Will it be stronger than it was before the repair?

My heart and my love are joined to this house

And have been wounded by this cracking in the wall

It is I who need healing and pray for it so.

Yet it is mine, it is ours, it is me and it is us

As it is healed so am I, so are we, but when?

As the true extent of the damage is uncovered

Can it all be found, be taken out, healed and strengthened?

Can I ever become whole in this house again?

Now missing parts removed and replaced with new

Will I be watchful and careful to see the warning clouds

To see the cracks early, to not be the crack that weakens

But be the healer, repairing without judging the broken

Can my spirit be repaired as repair to this house?

Can I again proudly, confidently, call this house my home?

With Your help dear Father, sweet Jesus and Holy Spirit

I will, and I do.

St. Joseph, you taught your earthly son Jesus to build and repair the things of earth and men with His hands.

Be with us and protect us from harm as you did your Son and His Mother.

Through Your intercession please ask Your Son Jesus to

Give us loving hands to mend, to heal, to repair, to carve anew, to reshape, and strengthen His house on earth.

For Your house will stand forever and neither the earthquake nor tempest nor any works of man shall bring it down, "for You will remain with us until the end of the age".

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